Sometimes when I read my bible, I like to imagine that I’m having coffee with Jesus. I like to pretend that His words in the Bible are conversations that we’re sharing while sitting in the rocking chairs on my front porch. Just Him and I and a warm cup of coffee. Our conversation would sound something like this..
Lord, What did I do wrong? Why am I struggling with infertility?
My child, you’ve done nothing wrong. This has happened so that the works of God may be seen in you. I know you don’t understand it now, but one day you will. Until then, instead of seeing this as a walk of misery, see it as a ministry. Because of my great love, I will enable you to use this pain to comfort others.
[John 9:3; 2 Corinthians 1:4]
But, Jesus, why is everyone around me getting pregnant, and I’m not?
Ashley, their babies have appointed times just like yours does. If I want them to have their babies now, what’s it to you? I want you to hear me loud and clear: I promise you, daughter, I am working all things for your good and for the glory of God. Can you try to fully grasp that? All things! No matter what, I’ll be working for what’s best for you, my sweet, sweet child. Get excited! You’re growing in so many ways right now! Your endurance is stronger. Your character is enhanced, and you have great hope to hold onto. You are truly getting to taste and see how good I am. Have faith, child. Trust me. I can see the whole picture; you are only able to see what’s in front of you- and boy is my picture so much bigger than what you could ever imagine! When you are tempted to look to your left and your right, resist and fix your eyes on me. I won’t let you down.
[Romans: 5:3-5; Luke 1:20; Romans 8:28; Hebrews 12:1-2]
Jesus, I know I can trust you, and I know you are good. I just can’t wrap my mind around why I had to lose my baby so soon. Can you help me understand?
My sweet child, I love you. I love you so much, and one day I promise I will wipe away every tear, and there will be no more pain. I see your tears, and I hear your prayers. I promise you will never experience suffering without experiencing my great comfort and peace. You are right. This was not the way I intended it to be. The Enemy has come to steal, kill, and destroy. He intends to bring great harm. I have come to bring life and to bring it fully. I am the author of life! While he intends for harm, I make everything work for good. When you have those days of utter sadness and you stop and wonder if I care or if I understand, I want you to know that I do. I understand. You must remember, I had one son, and I sent Him to die for you. I know the pain of losing a child, and I also know the love that I have for you. I promise I will turn your tears and your pain into dancing.
[Revelation 21:4; 2 Kings 20:5; 2 Corinthians 1:5; John 10:10; John 3:16; John 16:20]
Lord, sometimes I get sad when I see pregnancy announcements or attend baby showers. Some days it’s tough for me to put on a brave face. What would you have me do in these circumstances?
Daughter, I know your heart, and I am here for you. I want you to wipe those tears away and instead, I want you to rejoice! Rejoice with those who are celebrating, because soon you will be celebrating also. You have so much to be thankful for today! I want to show you how to trust me so much that rejoicing with those who rejoice is easy- second nature. When you walk with me, I will give you a love for others that is beyond your ability. With that love, I want you to start praying for those that are pregnant now. Pray for their children, their families, and their futures, for one day you’ll need people to pray for yours. Love every child that I send into this world, because children are gifts directly from me. Which is a better testimony while you wait? To be sad and envious, or to love with a love that is not self-seeking even when times are hard? Rely on me for your strength, and I will renew you each and every day. Joy that comes from me and only me will be your strength. I will show you how! When the burden is hard to bear, you can find refuge in me, and I will strengthen and enable you to love even on the hardest of days. You are to be my hands and feet, now go!
[John 21:23; Isaiah 54:1: Romans 12:15; Psalm 127:3; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; Luke 6:31; Nehemiah 8:10]
Lord, what is your plan for me? I really thought you would have answered my prayers by now!
Ashley, where were you when I created the earth? Who ordered the morning to “Wake Up!” and the dawn to “Get to work?” Are you able to grab the attention of the clouds or command the shower of rain? Do you set food out for the ravens high on a mountain when their young cry because they are hungry? Was it because of your know-how that the eagle learned to fly or the lion learned to hunt its prey? Why are you second guessing my purposes and questioning my timing? Don’t babble on about things that are far beyond you. Don’t make small talk about wonders way over your head. Remember, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. There is nothing too hard for me! I am not slow in keeping my promises. But, instead, I am patient. I am so very patient with you. All I ask is that you wait patiently on me. Don’t be like the Israelites who had a spirit of complaint, constantly groaning and asking “How much longer?” Stop looking back to Egypt or else you’ll miss all that I’m doing in your wilderness. My sweet child, I am doing so much good in the desert you are currently walking through. Keep your eyes focused on today. See all the wonderful things I am doing for you today. Be thankful for today. I hear your prayers. Wait for me and trust me.
[Jeremiah 32:27;Job 38-39; 2 Peter 3:9; Psalm 27:14]
Jesus, I want you to bring good from my pain. I don’t want my infertility to be wasted. Show me how to bring you glory, even when I’m hurting.
My child, I will remind you of this every day: My grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in your weakness. Daughter, I want you to boast about your trails and your difficulties, and I will rest my power upon you. I’ve created you to be a light in this dark world. Let your light shine. Share it with others, and it will glorify your Father. Don’t keep what I’m doing a secret. I’m such a good shepherd, I can turn your pain into a ministry! Don’t grow weary. I promise you are being used! Don’t lose heart, for in due time you will reap what you’ve sown. Keep making time for me each day. I will guide you and show you what to do, and I will make sure this trail brings God glory. I will never cause pain without making something new be born.
[2 Corinthians 12:9; Matthew 5:16; Isaiah 66:9; 2 Thessalonians 1:4]
What should I do while I wait, Lord? How can I find joy in this journey like Paul did?
I will show you how to wait: Love those around you. When you have a bad day, find things to be thankful for. Write a list of your blessings and let gratitude fill your heart! Seek ways to be kind to others. Be intentional to encourage each and everyone that crosses your path. Pray for others and don’t be afraid to ask others to pray for you. Put others before yourself. Look for those who are less off and serve them. Give people grace like the abundance of grace I so freely give you. Trust me with everything you have, and surrender all your plans to me. That’s how you wait. I’ll do the rest to make your paths straight. Continue to seek me with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength, and all your soul, and you will find me. You will find me and know me in ways you could have never imagined, and when you do…. you will find a joy that is greater than anything you could have ever imagined. I will show you how to be content no matter your circumstance. I want you to take time to focus on what you do have while you wait, and be grateful for the blessings that I’ve already given you. Your husband is a blessing. Your family is a blessing. Your friends are a blessing. Your children will be a blessing. But remember, all blessings come from me. I’m the author of joy. Take joy in me. Be content with me. Draw close to me. I am the prize, the ultimate prize. The rest are just added gifts. When you understand that, you will understand true joy.
[Matthew 6:34; Philippians 2:4; Philippians 4:11; Proverbs 3:5-6; Mark 12:30]
Forever grateful for a Father that listens and teaches…..
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